Responding to Betrayal

Welcome to Connections2Excellence! For the next several weeks, we are choosing a character from the Easter story and connecting them to our life. On Faith Connections Friday, we highlight the biblical character. Enjoy!

Luke did an amazing job at his company. He was a dedicated worker and took initiative on projects. Shortly after his contributions on a premier client’s project, he received a promotion. Philip updated him on newly-assigned tasks according to company standards. However, Luke gradually noticed discrepancies in Philip’s work and the data Philip was reporting compared to the data Luke had observed. Luke then discovered that Philip was re-entering the reports and falsifying the data to make Luke appear incompetent. He also learned that Philip had been overlooked for yet another promotion. Luke was hurt because he had been betrayed by someone he had trusted.

Eventually, someone may betray you. At the office, people wanting to get ahead may use others. Sometimes, even those in whom we place our trust may intentionally use it for their good and overlook others. Maybe a close friend shares a confidence with someone else, and you find out. Experiencing betrayal causes hurt and results in a lack of trust in the relationship.

So, how do we handle betrayal? Connecting our life to a pursuit of excellence includes being an example—others are watching the way you respond. Extending professionalism and undeserved kindness speaks volumes. The way you respond to the relationship can make a difference. Here are a few suggestions to responding to betrayal.

Choose to forgive. Forgiveness is critical, and forgiveness is a choice—sometimes a minute-by-minute choice. The one choosing not to forgive actually suffers most and can experience bitterness and health issues.

Bless the betrayer. This is difficult, especially at first. Yet, a simple act of kindness, even anonymously, can change your reaction toward them.

Write it all down. It is an outlet of expressing thoughts and feelings about the situation. Journaling is also profitable for reflection. Rereading the entries after a period of time shows how the situation has changed, how you have changed, and the lessons learned. Plus, writing down when you chose to forgive is a written record that you made an intentional, conscious choice to forgive.

Exercise. Not only is physical activity healthy, it releases chemicals in the body that helps us think more clearly. A quick walk is an opportunity to step away, enjoy the fresh air and sunshine, and return refreshed.

Our Connections Challenge: Regaining trust is not easy; it takes time, effort, and is a continual choice. Yet, healing is possible. Here is a link to an article on dealing with betrayal in the workplace. If you or someone close to you experienced betrayal, plan to implement one or more of these suggestions.